September 11, 2001 will be a date many Americans will never forget. A day that, no matter how hard you try, you will always remember what you were doing at the exact time you heard about the first plane crash. I remember. I was heading to my child development and psychology class. I was already in the halls when someone ran out of a room and said “A plane hit the tower.” Normally, I would ignore out-of-the-blue things like that, but panic was in his voice and his face was a mix of serious and shock. I followed him back into the room and everyone was glued to the television's live feed and breaking news story about the North Tower being struck. It was not immediately confirmed whether it was an accident or not, but within two hours both towers had been struck and collapsed. Another plane crashed into the pentagon and a fourth went down in Pennsylvania. There were no survivors from any of the flights and nearly 3,000 victims died that day.
News coverage and tributes will plaster the televisions and schools will be talking about that day. If your child was not old enough at the time or even born yet, you may be approached with many questions as they hear about it in the coming weeks.
Tips on how to talk to your children about September 11th 2001:
- Let your child voice their emotions. If they come home from school after hearing about it and already know about war or terrorism, they may be angry or scared that it may happen again.
- Confirm their thoughts: “ I understand you're feeling X way. It was a very scary event, but that was many years ago. Although it was a sad day we hope it never happens again”
- Share your thoughts with them about that day. It is ok to share with them that it was very sad or scary for you, it helps them feel reassured.
- Older kids may have a lot of questions and it is best to be truthful with them so they know what to expect in school or when they see it on the news; but use concepts and wording that your child will understand, you know them best.
- Focus on the positive. Reassure your child that some bad things may have happened that day, but point out all the heroes who stepped up to help and remind them that the world is still full of nice people.
- Get hands on. Kids always love a project and sometimes the best way to talk about things is while doing something about it. If you know someone who died that day, put together a wreath for their grave. Make a thank you gift for your local fire fighters and/or police officers for doing everything they do to protect our nation and let your child hand-deliver it to a local station.
- Contact your local Red Cross and see if they have a need for any donations.
I have a 7-year-old and this is along the lines of what I said to her last year: "There are some people in the world who do not like what Americans do and how we live. They don't understand our liberty and justice for all (she knows the Pledge of Allegiance so this helped.) They wanted Americans, people like you and me, to feel afraid so that they could bully us. But the United States is a strong country with lots of people who love one another so we were able to come together on that sad day and help everyone the best we knew how." She, of course, had a lot of questions, but after we talked, she was able understand more about WHY it happened. I feel confident that this year, she will be prepared, educated and understanding of the situation.
A list of 9/11 books for kids:
by Taryn Plendl
September 11 (We the People: Modern America series) by Mary Englar
The Little Chapel That Stood by A.B. Curtiss
Jonas Wept by Regina Bargo
Messages to Ground Zero: Children Respond to September 11, 2001 by Shelley Harwayne and New York City Board of Education
Fireboat: The Heroic Adventures of the John J. Harvey by Maira Kalman
I Was Born on 9/11 by Cindy L. Rodriguez and Joyce L. Elliot
The Day the Towers Fell: The Story of September 11, 2011 by Maureen Crethan Santora and Patricia Santora Cardona
Hero Dogs: Canines in Action by Donna M. Jackson
He Said Yes: The Story of Father Mychal Judge by Kelly Ann Lynch
21 Days at Ground Zero: A Young Volunteer's Story by Juliet McIntyre
14 Cows for America by Carmen Agra Deedy
September Roses- Jeanette Winter
With Their Eyes: September 11th--The View from a High School at Ground Zero
On That Day: A Book of Hope for Children by Andrea Patel
